This is about me; how a convent educated first class graduate, in fact a position holder from Govt. Premmier College, a student of The Univercity of Central London and an executive at Honda Cars Ltd. ended up being a Taxi Cab Driver and finally,a bed ridden disabled person with nobody in the world except an old mother, who is keeping him alive by taking care of him. Back in 1995 when I was working with Honda Cars Ltd. as a Sales Executive and where my responsibilities were to sell cars to Corporate Clients such as Multi National Companies, Banks etc., I had a slip disc while lifting up a plant pot in my office. When even after one month I could not even walk, I had an MRI and had a low back surgery was preformed at OMI Hospital. But the pain remained and I had another surgery at Aga Khan Hospital, but the pain never went away despite two surgeries. During that time my only sibling ( a brother) came from Sri Lanka, where he was an Import Manager with Habib Bank Limited. The doctors already told that they dont know if I would ever be able to walk again. I was lying on bed for one year but my brother stayed for two months and migrated to Canada. I kept telling him that how could he leave a disabled brother lying on bed and an old mother, but he was not prepared to pay any attention to our miserable condition. My father was already dead at that time and we had a 435 yards house in North Nazimabad and a show-room space in Defence Society. We settled the property in a way that I got the Show-room and he got the house. After that although I got better and able to walk and drive a car, but never got better enough to do a nine to five job again in my life. I thought I would open up some business in that Show-room and make a living easily, but one of my neighbor tried to get advantage of my situation; being alone and a "sharif admi". He threatened to kill me if I dont sell him my show-room so that he can extend his show-room which was just next to myne. He was so influential preson that the than DIG Police use to come to his house for drinking. I was off-course no match for him. He even threatened the neighboring Estate Agencies that nobody will sell my show-room as he is interested in it. So, nobody dared to find me a buyer. But just one and a half years ago, another distant Estate Agency called me and I sold that show-room to him without letting this "badmash" know about it. I was affraid even after selling it that he might take revenge but Allah saved me. As long as this show-room was not sold, I came into such financial problems that I had to buy a Taxi Cab and drive it to make a living. Although we were getting the rent of my brother's Cllifton appartment but that could only pay for the rent of the house we were living in. During that time since I could not have done a nine to five job due to my back problem, I joined a nearby workshop and not only became a purchase person for them but also did buying and selling of second hand cars. During the evening, I use to drive Taxi to make extra money. I have all my relatives well off and at high places but it was against my nature to ask for help from anyone. My experience is that relatives enjoy your misery rather than to help you out and besides this pass so painfull remarks that they injure you forever. After I sold the show-room, I bought an appartment in JASON LUXURY block 3, Clifton and invested some money in a 120 yards plot and a fishing boat. Just four months ago that same friend asked me to pay him some 150,000 as personal loan for a month so that he could marry his sister. He promissed me to return the money very soon but if you are weak, everybody likes to take advantage of you and this is what happened. Now when I ask him to pay me back, he says he does not have it now but will pay as soon as he gets money from elsewhere. This really put me in great trouble as I needed money to renovate my appartment and give it on rent. The rent there is around 16,000 for a newly renovated appartment. Now he has promissed to pay me half but as for remainging half, nobody knows when he will pay back. MY DISEASE: What I have is actually recurrent slip disc problem due to degenerated discs in my low back. Every time I go down with a slip disc, it takes months before I get better. Once I go down on bed, I develop depression also, as I have nobody to help me in several day to day problems and than loneliness takes its toll. Only Allah knows why I am going through this misery, I lived all my life staying away from large sins like earning "haram" or having sex, steeling etc. Perhaps this is an Exam from Allah but no doubt a very tough one. Apart from this problem, I dont have any other disease like heart, blood pressure or diabetes etc. But I can understand that being on bed is enough for anyone to be scared of me and even when I am on my feet, I am not as fit as any other healthy person as I have to live with a chronic disgusting back ache. My mother was looking for a bride for me when this problem started and that is why I am still an unmarried or rather a never married person. MY BROTHER AND HIS FAMILY: Well my brother has his second wife now as the first one died of cancer six yrs ago. He works in an Insurance Company and his wife is a SAP Integrety Specialist from Canada but Pakistani by origin. They have own house there and on sundays my brother plays golf or goes for fishing. They hardly remember us and are living a happy life there. His first wife was chosen by my parents and also belonged to a respectable educated family. One of her brother's Justice Shaiq Usmani is a ronowned person and frequently seen on talk-shows on TV. They were all educated and even the sisters were doctor, engineer and Msc. The one who was doctor was actually working with PIA posted at the PIA diagnostic centre eight years back. Her name was Dr. Fauzia Aslam. You can visit my brother's Photo gallery on internet on the below mentioned address, but strangely enough, you will find no pics of me or my mother or my late father. http://community.webshots.com/user/yousufmajid MY FAMILY FROM FATHER'S SIDE: The family from my father's side are also educated people belonging to Muradabad, UP, India. My grandfather was a "Thanedar" in Police Dept. but he was a relegious scholar with command over seven languages. He was more interested in Relegion than his job and that is why never managed to reach any top position. But still was a well known and well off person in Muradabad. All my uncles and aunts are dead now except one uncle who worked as a Director in the Metrological Dept.. He did his Msc and than Doctrate in Metrology from USA. He also served as a Professor in Jeddah Univercity. Presently he is also retired with age crossing 80 years. The eldest brother of my father was a graduate from Aligarh Univercity and settled in RawalPindi after the partition,as he thought that Pindi is a beautiful place to live. He got a lot of Agricultural land there in claim, that he brought from India and left it for his children. The youngest brother was a SVP in Habib Bank and died only two yrs ago. My father had four sisters married to; two medical doctors, a lawyer and a foreign service personel. Two of them were also educated from Aligarh Univercity out of which one later became the General Secretary of APWA, the famous organization for women. Her husband was a Chest Specialist in Karachi and the President of Pakistan Tuberclosis Society and also the Honorary General Secretary of the Asian Tuberclosis Society. She was the only phuppi we had in Karachi. The one whose husband was in Foreign Service actually lived all her life in Italy and when her husband retired, they migrated to UK. It is one of her sons actually who was the than Chief Accountant of British Oxygen Company in London, who suggested me to come to London and do Chartered Accountancy there, as he found me a brilliant student, when he met me on his visit to Pakistan. He even promised me a job in BOC once I complete my education but I had to come back to Pakistan due to the illness of my father and never could go back. MY LATE FATHER was a Sales Manager in State Life Insureance and before nationalization he was with American Life Insurance (ALICO) and was a three year in a row Gold Medalist. Now most of this family, i mean my cousins are either outside Pakistan or Karachi and are mostly very well educated and well settled people. The cousins of myne who live in Karachi are also mostly very well settled and I am no match for them when it comes to Social Status and that is why I always tried to avoid much contact with them, besides nobody likes to keep contact with a poor relative and now a disabled one too. They are all much older than me and some of them have kids older than me. But after all they are my first cousins and even they cannot deny that and the only difference we have is of money and financial status. MY FAMILY FROM MOTHER'S SIDE: My grandfather was a Qualified Vet Doctor from Bombay but later did Mechanical Engineering after the death of his father. His father actually forcibly made him a Vet Doctor as he himself was a Vet Doctor, working for a Raja and taking care of his race horces. He thought if my grandfather would do Vet Medicine, he could live a lavish life like him working for that same Raja, but my grandfather had interest in Engineering. He did that from Bombay, as there was no Engineering College in Dehli and later became the Tank Workshop Incharge in British Army in Merut, India. My grandfather is the third person to write a book on "Lion Hunting Experiences" from Indo Pakistan and killed four Lions during his life time. He brought his first car in 1927, even before my mothers birth and that is why a car is nothing more to my mother, other than a neccessity of life. She does not considers it a symbol of status and to her its like other utencils or neccessity. Two of my mother's brothers are settled in London for some 45 yrs now with children as Bar At Law, Chartered Accountant and Architect etc. The only sister of my mother who comes and live with us was actually not that much lucky in the begining. She lived in Martin Quarters and her husband was a Officer in the AGPR office. But he was actually the brother of the famous Congress Leader of India Barrister Asif Ali. There is a main road on his name in Dehli and he was among the handfull of Muslims who were as qualified as Bar At Law. But now my aunt has all her kids well settled in Detroit, America except one daughter who also comes to our home specially late on sudays. Her husband likes to live in Karachi in their 300 yards house in PECHS. One brother of my mother lived in Lahore. He was a BSc and a Regional Sales Manager in Buyer Company of Germany and now his son works on his position. The eldest brother of my mother who was living with us actually became a widower long ago and than never remarried. He has no kids and now is back in Lahore living with his nephew (the one who works in Buyer Co.) MY MOTHER is a also a graduate and among her subjects in BA was Advance Urdu, but I am too weak in Urdu. My hand writing is unreadable and I make lots of spelling mistakes. Besides this, I dont have an Urdu Word Processor in my computer so, I had to write this letter to you in English, despite the fact that in Urdu I could have conveyed my message more effectively. CONCLUSION: This was a brief description of me and the family I belong to, along with the unfortunate life that I happen to have. I just dont want you to marry a bed ridden person who was not sure he will even survive this time. But I am not disappointed as ALLAH is the most MERCIFUL and no wonder one day I might once again become able to walk and even find the lady I always loved and still love and will keep on loving as long as I live. I have all the time in the world to keep praying to ALLAH and I hope that one day HE might listen to my prayers. No one knows better how much I love you than ALLAH and the fact that I have no one in this world except an old mother. So that is why I feel so confident that one day, HE will throw a glance of MERCY upon me (INSHA ALLAH). Having said this, I know that I have no right to make anybody (you) wait for me .....I will keep on doing my work which is begging and praying to ALLAH, and HE will INSHA ALLAH do what HE is famous for, that is MERCY and you are free to do whatever you think is good for you. But I have no other option to pray to ALLAH to make me better and give me my LOVE WHICH IS YOU. You might have other options. ASSALAM O' ALLAIKUM, ARSHAD.